With The Soft Vagina Am Hurry To Ejaculate With Out My Control, But Am Not Happy

This is one of the many times I wish I could ask follow up questions!

Does it happen all the time? With only some people?

When it happened, were you feeling really turned on? Were you nervous about anything?

Let me start by saying that this is way more common than most people realize. Some might call it premature ejaculation, but that’s actually a medical term and may not fully fit what’s happening here.

When health care professionals diagnose a condition, they will often use the DSM – which is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

According to the current DSM, for something to be considered premature ejaculation it has to happen almost all the time, have happened for at least 6 months and can’t be explained by something else.

And it has to cause distress.

I don’t diagnose people – so I’m not as concerned with whether or not this can be diagnosed as “premature ejaculation.” But I think there’s some important pieces in that criteria that can help you address this.

I’m guessing that it’s bothering you, or else you wouldn’t have reached out to me. I’m not sure if it helps if I tell you that coming too fast is actually really common and happens to a lot of men. And too fast is clinically defined as about a minute. If that makes you less concerned and you’re happy with that knowledge, great!

If that makes you feel better, but you want more information, then keep reading.

Ask yourself if there’s something else going on with your body that might be contributing to this issue. Were you recently diagnosed with a medical condition? Did a health care professional prescribe you a need medication, or change the dose of one you had been using for a while? Any new over the counter medications or supplements? If any of these apply to you, that might be contributing to you coming too fast.

Did something major happen in your life? Fight with a partner? Lose your job? Increase in how much you were stressed, or anxious, or worrying about anything? These things can also contribute to you coming too fast.

Does it happen with certain partners but not all? Is there something different about those partners that you can think of that might make you come too fast? Is there an added level of excitement with those partners? Are they new partners? Could there be some performance anxiety on your part? If you can figure out any pattern surrounding when it happens that might help you to deal with it.

Is it just that you’re really turned on by sex? If so, maybe you can slow down your sex play. Taking things a little slower might help.

Some people ask about numbing gels and creams. Those can be an option, though I don’t usually recommend them.

I’m going to throw in a suggestion that make go against how many people view sexual activity - but bear with me. For many people in the Unted States we assume that when a man and woman have sex, once he comes than sex play ends. Can you change how you think about that? If you come too fast, can you turn your attention to your partner and keep doing other sexual things with her? If you play long enough, you might be able to get hard again and then it might take longer for you to come.

The other thing I would encourage you to think about is why it bothers you so much. I know there’s the obvious you didn’t get to enjoy it for very long. But is there more to it than that? Are you worried you didn’t please your partner, or that they’ll somehow be disappointed? If so, continuing on with sex play after you come may help with that.

Seriously, think about that. Focusing on your partner and making sure she feels good, even after you come, can make them feel great. And it might get rid of your concerns about pleasing her.

Until next time, be safe and have fun!

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