Can A Couple Have A Successful Marriage When We Don’t Really Enjoy Sex Together?

There's no one answer to this because so much depends on you and your fiancé. And how important sex is to each of you.

There is a difference between relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. Though there often is a correlation between them.

Relationship satisfaction is exactly what it sounds like, how a person feels about their relationship. Sexual satisfaction is how happy a person is with their sex life.

There's some research out there that says that there is a strong correlation between sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction. But that's not necessarily true for everyone. A lot of times research is done with college students. And college students may view the importance of sex in a relationship differently than people who may be older and have had more experience with relationships.

The question I want to ask is, do you have no physical attraction to your partner? Or you do, but the sex isn’t great?

If there's no physical attraction, that's hard to develop over time. And while physical attraction to someone can change, it’s not common to see it get stronger over time. It’s more common for people to be really attracted to someone at the beginning of a relationship and then as time goes on, that attraction lessens.

If the sex isn't great, there are things that you can do to address that. I’m not going to get into that now. But if you want me to, just let me know.

What it really comes down to is whether or not you feel like this is something that you need to address with your fiancé. You may want to talk to them about how they're feeling about sex, and your current sex life. This can be a very vulnerable position to put yourself in. So I understand if you don't necessarily want to do that. But it'll be good to know if your fiancé feels the same way.

If sex is not important to you or your fiancé, then the lack of heat may not really have a long-term impact on your marriage. But if sex is important to either of you, and you're not happy with your sex life, that may prove problematic later on. And it’s something you might want to address now. Before the marriage.

The thing that keeps coming to mind as I'm writing this is what happens if after you’re married you find yourself attracted to someone else? If you feel like that would make you want to leave the marriage, then I think that you’ve answered for yourself whether or not your current sex life will impact your marriage.

I will say that there are plenty of people who have really good relationships that are based on things like companionship and friendship, and just really liking the other person for who they are.

There are couples who have long term marriages where sex does not play a significant role. Or really any role at all.

So not being happy with your sex life does not mean an unsuccessful marriage. As long as both you and your fiancé are honest about how important it is.

Until next time, be safe, and have fun!

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