Struggling To Feel Sexual After Watching My Wife Give Birth. How Do I Get My Mojo Back?
I appreciate the honesty in the question.
I also admire the fact that you’re making this a “What can I do” question. Often in these situations I get guys who are putting the responsibility on their wives to find a solution. And I don’t think that’s helpful in fixing it.
Watching childbirth can be really traumatic! I don’t think we talk about that enough. We talk about how miraculous it is, and the joy of bringing a new life into the world. But we rarely talk about what it’s like to watch someone do that. The image of the baby crowning. The blood, the other fluids… it can be a lot.
If you’re seeing those images in your mind and you can’t get them out, you might want to talk to someone about it. It could be a friend, or family member, or a mental health professional. But I don’t think it should be your wife. At least not in the “how do I get past this” phase of dealing with this.
Not that you shouldn’t talk to her about what’s going on in your brain. Especially if it’s impacting how you two are interacting. But a conversation about your experience with watching childbirth, and the impact it had on you while you’re trying to figure all this out, can make it feel like you’re asking her to fix it.
As you’re finding your way through coping with the images, it can be helpful to try and reconnect with your wife again on an intimate level. Notice I said intimate, not sexual.
I know this may seem really simple, but can you just hold each other for a minute or two?
Try taking a minute to just look into each other’s eyes. If you’ve never done it before, it may feel silly at first, but it can also feel incredibly intimate.
As you rebuild intimacy, it can help to recharge that mojo.
Being a new parent comes with a lot of things, including sleep deprivation. That can take a real toll on your sex drive!
Supporting each other as you figure out how to be both husband and wife, as well as parents, can take some time. But if you can find ways to support her and reconnect with her as you both move into these dual roles, it may help to give your mojo the jumpstart you’re looking for.
Let me know if this helped, or if you need more suggestions.
Until next time, be safe, and have fun!
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