Do I Have to Have A Safe Word to Have Safe Sex? What Word Do I Use?
Let’s dive into these terms just a bit. “Safe sex” is the term that’s used when we talk about people taking steps when engaging in sexual play to either help reduce the chances of getting an STI, or having an unintended pregnancy, or both.
Safe sex includes using a barrier method to prevent skin to skin contact during anal, oral, or vaginal sex. Barriers for oral sex can be a condom or a dental dam. For anal or vaginal use a condom. DON’T use a dental dam for vaginal or anal sex.
In order to prevent pregnancy people might use a barrier method, like an internal or external condom, along with another form of contraception like birth control pills, the implant, or an IUD.
But safe sex isn’t just about what you’re using during sexual activity. It also includes talking to your partner and sharing your respective sexual histories (ideally before you become sexually active with each other). This may mean you talk about how many people you’ve done things with and if you’ve been diagnosed with an STI before.
In order to know if you’ve had an STI that means you would’ve had to have been tested, and that’s the last part of safe sex I want to talk about here. If you’re sexually active then you should be getting tested for STIs regularly. How regularly? That depends on how many partners you have. More than one partner, or you don’t know much about your partners, every 3 – 6 months. One partner? Once a year. But these are guidelines. If you’re starting to show any symptoms, don’t wait for a specific time frame to get tested – do it now.
So how do safe words fit into this? They don’t if we’re looking at safe sex through the lens of STI and pregnancy prevention. A safe word is a word that you and your partner(s) agree on before you engage in sex play. If someone feels uncomfortable or wants to stop what’s happening for any reason, they say that word and everything should stop. If you can’t speak or are afraid you might not be heard, you can also agree on a safe action before sex play. It could be a specific hand gesture or dropping an object that you’re holding.
When it comes to choosing a safe word, you want to pick something that’s easy to say. Some people use red because of its link to a red traffic light or a stop sign. Or you can use something random, like pineapple, it’s really up to you. Just make sure you and your partner(s) are clear on what you’re using.
Have a sex question you want answered? Submit it anonymously here https://milsteinhealthconsulting.com/heydrsue
