What Can A Person Do When She Can’t Enjoy (Orgasm) Sex With Her Partner (Husband)? She Doesn’t Have Any Sense Of Enjoyment.

This is one of those times that I really wish I could ask a follow up question!

Because what I really want to ask is, is it just about the lack of an orgasm, or is there truly no enjoyment?

In this country, when it comes to sex, we tend to equate orgasms with pleasure. And that’s a problem, because the two don’t always go together.

Some people can really enjoy what they’re doing with a partner, and never orgasm. Other people can orgasm, but may not really find the whole experience enjoyable.

If there is truly no enjoyment, then I think it’s time to have a couple of conversations. The first is between the woman and herself. She has to ask herself if there was a time that she ever enjoyed sex with her husband. If she did enjoy it before, but now she doesn’t, she has to ask herself what’s changed. And probably one of the harder questions to think about – is this a sex issue or a bigger relationship issue?

For some people it’s really hard to get turned on when they’re angry at their partner, or frustrated with their relationship, and trying to pretend that things are okay may lead to less than enjoyable sex.

Once she has the answers for herself, she needs to think about what she wants to do next. If this is a relationship issue I think she needs to address that first.

This is when the next conversation happens. She needs to talk to her husband and tell him she’s not enjoying sex. If there’s a relationship problem then they need to talk about that.

If it’s purely a sexual thing, then they should talk about what they both want to try to do to address that. I would actually suggest they stop having penetrative intercourse for a while.

That doesn’t necessarily mean they should stop being intimate altogether. She and her husband can define what boundaries they want to try, like maybe all the kissing, fondling and oral sex they want, but no penetrative intercourse.

Sometimes when people take penetrative intercourse off the table as an option, it allows them the ability to rediscover what else they can do that turns on their partner, what other types of sex play they enjoy. Maybe it’s time to turn to sexting during the day as a way to rebuild intimacy and anticipation, maybe it’s about mutual masturbation so that they can get themselves off while their partner watches.

It’s really up to them to figure out, together, what they can do to make their time together more pleasurable.

Until next time, be safe and have fun!

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