How Does Pornography Affect Us Mentally, Emotionally And Physically?

I get a lot of questions about this – is it safe to use porn? Is it okay to use porn?

Some of the research on this is really flawed, but before I dig into that let me start with this.

If you’re comfortable with viewing porn, then good on you.  I’m assuming here that the porn you’re viewing is legal. If it’s not, then that’s a problem.  

If you’re not comfortable with the idea of using porn, then it might not be okay for you. If it makes you feel bad or dirty, or it goes against your morals, values, or ethics, then it may not be right for you.

If you’re okay with viewing porn, but it’s causing problems with your partner, then it’s not okay in your relationship. But before you give up porn, or try to hide it, I would suggest having a conversation or two with your partner about why they’re bothered by your porn use.

Since we don’t really do education on porn, people may not understand why people use it. Your partner may make some inaccurate assumptions about your porn use – like you’re watching it because you’re not satisfied with your relationship. It may be that your partner views the behavior as cheating. It may be that they feel threated by you viewing porn. Until you actually talk about it, there’s no way to know why they’re bothered by your porn use.

And don’t be surprised if they can’t pin down why they’re bothered by it! They may have a strong reaction about you viewing porn but may not know why. Give them some space and time to figure out the why.

So let’s talk about why people watch porn. There are so many reasons why people watch porn that it’s not possible to list them all. But here are some of the common ones. People may use it to help them masturbate, or to fuel their fantasies. Some people use it to get ideas on different types of sex play and may then show things they like to their partners. Some use it because they aren’t happy with their sex lives, and it helps them get the satisfaction they’re missing. Some people use it because they’re bored. Some people find it amusing to watch.

And some people use it for education.

We really don’t do a good job with sex education in this country, and some people use porn to learn how to have sex. This may be especially true for folks who identify as LGBTQIA+ since they’re often left out of any formal sex education.

But there are some real concerns for people watching porn.

I know I mentioned this before, but if it’s causing a problem in your relationship, then it’s a problem and needs to be addressed.

If you’re watching porn so much that you’re not doing the things you need  to do (like missing school or work), then that’s a problem. This is when people like to start using the concept of “porn addiction” but I’m not going to discuss that here. If you want me to talk about this, submit a question about it.

If we watch porn regularly, we may find our partner less attractive over time. But that can also happen naturally in a relationship, even without porn use.

Part of how porn impacts you mentally and emotionally is linked to the type of porn you’re watching. If you consistently see women being degraded, then eventually you won’t be bothered by that and may see it as normal and acceptable behavior. But if you’re not watching that type of porn, then that might not be an issue.

For example, if you’re watching feminist porn, then you’re not going to see that type of degradation.

If the porn you’re watching only shows one body type, then you may start to think of that as the only type that’s attractive. But if you’re watching porn that has all different types of bodies, then that won’t be an issue. In fact, an argument could be made that you may be more impacted by what you’re seeing in mass media when it comes to learning about what  body types are “acceptable” and “attractive.”

The bottom line is that we can’t make sweeping generalizations about porn and its effect on people. For one thing there are too many types of porn, and this is not often discussed in the research that’s done. Research tends to focus on only one type, or simply ask about porn use without clarifying what type of porn it is.

There are also too many differences in the people who view it and why they view it.

Instead of focusing on what you may hear about porn in the news, or through social media, I would encourage you to think about your own porn use, and how you feel about it. Make the best decisions for you based on how it fits in your life.

Until next, be safe and have fun!

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here: https://milsteinhealthconsulting.com/heydrsue