I’m saving myself for marriage. How can I control my sexual urges until I find the right person?
Here’s the whole question:
I am a 23 year old female and I’m saving myself for marriage. How can I control my sexual urges until I find the right person? I have tried exercising but it doesn’t really help, and I don’t want to depend on watching porn and masturbation. Please help.
When you say you don’t want to depend on masturbation, does that mean it’s not an option at all?
The reason I ask is that sexual urges are incredibly normal, and masturbating is a great way to address them! For people who are choosing to abstain from partnered sexual activity until marriage, this can help them remain faithful to their values while still addressing their sexual urges.
I’m also curious what saving yourself means exactly. Does that mean no contact at all with anyone? Like no hand holding, or no kissing? Or can you do other things with a partner, just no vaginal penetration?
If it fits with your values and feels comfortable, you might want to think about outercourse. The definition of this differs from person to person, but for many people it includes everything from kissing to massage to dry humping.
I know you mentioned exercise in your question. Is that helping you in some way? Are you experiencing an orgasm from it? Some estimates say that as many as 1 in 10 women have experienced an orgasm through exercise, sometimes referred to as a coregasm. It’s less common in men, with only about 1 in 13 experiencing a coregasm.
If you haven’t had an orgasm from working out, don’t stress. Some people find it easier to have one than other people. And like orgasms from penetration not everyone will experience one.
I wish I could give you specific suggestions on how to have a coregasm, but there’s no one way to do it. Some people say that they’re more likely to have one when doing exercises that engage the lower ab muscles through things like sit ups and leg raises. But again, that might not be true for you.
If you don’t find a way to alleviate these urges, your body may decide to address them on its own through wet dreams. While most people associate wet dreams with males, they happen to people of all genders.
I hope you find something that works for you!
Until next time, be safe and have fun!
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