For A Straight Guy In College Do U Have Any Recommendations On How To Approach A Girl

I have to thank you for this question, because it led to some really fascinating, and sometimes funny, conversations.

I had some ideas of how I wanted to answer this. But I wanted to make sure that my answers would be accurate for current college students. And since I am far from traditional college age, I thought it best to ask some of my students.

I approached one of my college classes with the idea of helping me out with this. I gave them an overview of what we were going to do and I asked their consent to share what we talked about. They seemed to be excited about this. Although in all fairness, the alternative option they were given was to go over some definitions related to the current chapter we were covering.

I asked the guys to come up with ways that they would approach women. They wrote down some suggestions and then I had them leave the room. And then the ladies and I went through each one to figure out which they thought were good, and which they thought were not so good.

Essentially what it boiled down to was that they wanted someone to be genuine and authentic. They wanted someone who would look them in the eyes. Seriously, eye contact was a very big thing!

They said that they wanted someone who just… started a conversation. It didn't seem like it needed to be some kind of special opening. If anything, cheesy opening lines were not good. Compliments were good, as long as they weren't too specific. Some of the suggested conversation starters were so specific they felt a little stalker-y.

So if I had to sum it up, I would say just be yourself. Be confident, but not cocky. Just talk to them.

Now I do want to point out that everyone's going to respond to something a little different. One of the suggestions that came up was that someone wanted to do a card trick. And so their line was to say, “pick a card.” For me, I would love it if someone came up and offered to do a card trick, and then actually taught me the card trick. But for my students it did not seem to be something they would be into.

Then the guys wanted their turn, so we flipped the script a little bit. I don't know if this is going to surprise anyone, but a lot of what the men said they wanted was the same as the women. Be genuine, be authentic, and make eye contact.

The guys really seemed to enjoy the idea that a woman would come up and start the conversation with them. One person said that the best way to start a conversation with them was just to say “hi.”

I think in a lot of ways we tend to make approaching someone super complicated, when it doesn't need to be.

In weird timing, the night before I was going to do this with my class, a friend of mine asked me something similar. They are also far from traditional college age and are newly single. And they’re trying to figure out how to start a conversation with someone they see around regularly.

My suggestion was to just be yourself. If someone's not going like who you are when you first approach them, or judge you if you don’t have the perfect opening, or get that you may be a little nervous, than I don’t hold out hope of that being a good match moving forward.

Don’t get me wrong, pick-up lines can be funny. And I heard some very amusing ones over the last few days as I was talking to more and more people about this. And please, feel free to leave your favorite pickup line as a comment.

I spoke to lots of people after that class activity. Young and old, and people of all genders and orientations. And what it really came down to for most people was that they wanted someone who approached them to be themselves. And make eye contact!

A quick thanks to my students, and everyone I talked to for this one.

Until next time, be safe, and have fun!

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