Any Recommendations For Making Finishing Less Gross?

Thank you for submitting this question because this is not something we often talk about!

Traditional sex ed usually focuses on safer sex, including condoms, which will help contain semen. Though they do nothing to protect from female ejaculate getting everywhere. But then again, most traditional sex ed programs don’t talk about female ejaculation.

And most sex ed doesn’t talk about fluid bonded couples who aren’t using condoms and have no interest in doing so.

But this post isn’t about the limits of traditional sex ed programs, it’s about what to do with the fluids from sex.

Outside of saliva, the natural fluids people have to deal with during sex depend on the bodies involved. If they’re male bodies, then we’re talking about semen.

If they’re female bodies, then we’re talking about vaginal secretions from being wet, and/or fluid from squirting.

The reason I said “natural fluids” is that some people use a lot of lube, and that can add to the feeling that there are a lot of fluids to clean up. Depending on what type of lube you’re using, there may be issues of fabric being stained, and some lube isn’t going to clean up so easily with just water. I’m going to focus less on lube clean up in this post. If you have more questions about lube cleanup though feel free to ask me and I’ll do a post on it.

Fluids are going to go one of two places – on and in bodies, and then on whatever you’re sitting, standing, or lying on.

For bodies, there may need to be some clean up as it leaks out of butts and/or vaginas. Having a towel nearby can help with. Some people prefer baby wipes to towels. Towels and baby wipes can help with basic clean up, though many people then go to the bathroom to do a more thorough job.

While all this can seem like a chore, you can also make it part of the aftercare experience. Cleaning each other while you do other things like talking, holding or light caressing can make it seem less like work and more like part of bonding after sex.

For cleaning the space, that can be a bit more complicated. I know you said you lay a towel down but that whole aiming thing is a buzzkill. Some people use waterproof mattress pads that can just be removed after sex. That might be easier since they cover more space than a towel.

I have friends who tell me they have sex in one bedroom and then actually sleep in another and do clean up of the space the next day. That might be an option. But that assumes you have that kind of extra space and not everyone does.

I know this may be sound a bit simple, but you can look at the fluids as less of a gross thing and more of a sign that sex was really good?

I’ve worked with women who squirt who’s partners are really turned off by the fluid going everywhere. Their partners were basically trying to shame them for their body doing what it did because it was so turned on.

Some women just told the men to deal with it, and if they didn’t like the fluid they could just not have sex anymore. No partner chose that option!

Some women didn’t feel comfortable saying that to their partner. And they  became so worried about their fluids during sex that they said that sex became less enjoyable. And that’s not what I want to see happen for anyone.

And that’s my fear when you talk about all this being a buzzkill.

So try reframing how you see clean up. Maybe use a waterproof mattress pad. Also have some more options on hand like additional towels or baby wipes to do some quick clean up.

If none of these work, let me know and we can talk about some other options.

Until next time, be safe, and have fun!

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