If Sex Is Considered A Basic Human Need, What Does It Say About You If You Don’t Ever Desire Sex? Regardless Of Your Relationship Status?
For me, it doesn’t say much of anything except that you don’t want sex.
I know that there are some theories that list sex as a basic human need. But I don't necessarily agree with that.
To me, a basic human need is something that the body actually needs in order to survive. Think things like food and water. So with that view, I don’t think of sex as a human need, because you will not die without sex. No matter what anyone says. And for the record, I’m not the only one who believes this. There are plenty of theories that do not include sex as a basic human need.
Sex may be a basic human drive, but again, we don't die without it.
My question to you is are you ok with the fact that you don't ever desire sex, whether you're in a relationship or not? If you are okay with this then I don't really see much of an issue. If it's bothering you, then that could be an issue.
Is it bothering you because you feel like you’re “supposed” to have a sex drive? In case you're not familiar with it there is a sexual orientation called asexual which means that you’re not really sexually attracted to anyone. It can also include not being interested in engaging in sex.
Some people identify as aromantic. This means that they don’t experience any kind of romantic attraction for other people.
Some people identify as both aromatic and asexual. Sometimes you’ll see this shortened to aroace.
If either or both of these descriptions sound like you, then don’t worry there’s nothing wrong with you. And also know that you’re not alone!
If after reading all this you’re still bothered by your lack of desire to have sex, I’d want to know if you have always felt like this, or if it’s something new.
If it’s something new, can you pinpoint when it happened? Was it a new medication? A change in health (new illness or medical condition)? Was there personal trauma or relationship trauma? If any of these apply, then it could be that the thing that caused the change in your sex drive, and it’s possible it can be addressed.
If it’s a new medication or health issue, I would encourage you to follow up with your health care professional so they can help you.
If it was trauma of some sort, whether its Big T trauma or Little T trauma I would encourage you to speak to a mental health care professional.
Remember, while there are a lot of things that we as humans share, like the basic things we need to survive, the desire to be with a partner romantically or sexually, or even to want to have sex, is not universal.
Until next time, be safe and have fun!
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