What Does It Mean If I Enjoy Masturbating but Not Real Sex with Another Person?

It could mean any number of things.

Let me ask a few questions that can maybe help you understand why you enjoy masturbating but not sex.

Are you attracted to the people you’re having sex with? I know this may sound like a joke, but it’s not. If you’re not attracted to someone it can be hard to enjoy sex with them.

Is the issue not so much a lack of attraction to someone else, but more your own issues? Let me explain.

For people who have issues with their body, like they’re uncomfortable with someone seeing them naked, that can make sex less enjoyable. That discomfort being naked around someone else could be from a whole host of things. Everything from a past traumatic experience, to body image issues.

These body image issues can stem from an illness or injury that changed your body, or from a past experience where someone made fun of your physical appearance. They can also come from living in a culture that has impossible physical standards that virtually no one can meet.

If the things I’ve mentioned don’t sound right, let me ask you this, do you get bored during sex with someone? When you masturbate you get to control everything that is happening. Everything  is 100% centered around you enjoying the experience. With a partner, I’m hoping you’re spending some time making them enjoy the sex play. And that can feel like it’s taking away from your pleasure.

Also, you know how to get yourself off better than almost anyone else. So if you’re with a new partner who doesn’t know what you like, that can make it feel less enjoyable than when you’re doing things to yourself exactly the way you like them.

If you’re in a partnered relationship and you’re having sex with them out of an obligation to do so, but really don’t want to, that can also explain why you prefer masturbating.

There really are many reasons why you may prefer masturbating to sex with someone else.

But there’s one really important question I need to ask you: Does it bother you that you prefer masturbation?

I can assure you that it’s pretty common, for many of the reasons I talked about above.

And as long as it’s not interfering with a relationship you’re in (or trying to be in), then it shouldn’t be an issue.

If you’re not okay with the fact that you don’t enjoy partnered sex as much as masturbating, I would encourage you to think about why that might be. If something I mentioned above rings true for you, you might want to explore that more and see if there’s something you can do to address it.

Until next time, be safe, and have fun!

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