Not In A Relationship, How Do I Satisfy Myself Fully Sexually?

This is a really good question. And one that I'm getting more of now that more people are choosing to stay single.

This may sound like a non-answer answer to start. But it’s an important place to start.

And that’s with how you define “fully satisfied sexually.”

Because the answer is going to be uniquely yours.

If fully satisfied sexually means reaching orgasm on a regular basis, the good news is you don't need a partner to do that. You can do that through masturbation.

And you can try different ways of masturbating that may bring something new to the experience for you.

Maybe you use fantasy, or a different one if you already do that.

Maybe you use a sex toy, or one you haven’t tried before.

If you use something to help get you off, like porn, maybe you try a different type. Or maybe you try audio only.

There are a lot of options for solo sex that can help make the experience feel more satisfying.

And for some people, solo sex play is actually more fulfilling. With solo sex play you don't have to check in with a partner. You don't have to worry if you're pleasing a partner. It's all about you and what you need to feel good.

Now if what you are looking for is either an emotional connection with someone, or being physical with another person, then you have to look at some other options.

You could just have casual sex. Though I don't know how fulfilling that would be emotionally.

Perhaps a friends with benefits relationship might work for you. But I’d be really up front with the person about expectations. Specifically about the emotional connection. And whether either of you would be okay with it progressing to a relationship.

If it feels like the physical part is what’s missing for you, think about whether or not it’s just physical touch, or if it’s physical touch during sex.

There’s a thing called skin hunger. It’s the desire that most of us have to have physical contact with someone else.

It doesn’t need to be sexual. It could be a friend giving you a hug. Or someone putting their arm around you in a friendly way. It could be getting a massage. There are a lot of ways we can have human contact that isn’t sexual.

The thing about skin hinger is that it’s not necessarily a conscious thought. We don’t wake up one day and think “oh my skin hunger needs some attention.” We just know something is off.

As someone who is single, it may be that you’re missing that physical connection with others. It could be that if you feel that physical connection with people during the day, in a nonsexual way, then you may not feel like it’s missing during masturbation.

So I think you need to take some time to figure out how important physical touch is for you. And if you need to get during sex play.

One last thing, be careful not to compare yourself to others when it comes to defining fully sexually satisfied.

If you’re satisfied with what you’re doing, then it doesn’t matter what other people say they’re doing.

Until next time, be safe, and have fun!

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